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Attaining Marriage Equality What you should know *Click for the Human Rights Campaign's Answers to Questions About Marriage Equality.* *Click for the National Center for Lesbian Rights' Overview of Relationship Recognition.* *Click for the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation's Talking About Marriage and Relationship Recognition.* Click for the National Center for Lesbian Rights' Documents to Protect You and Your Family. Click for a Web site designed to educate and spur conversations about marriage equality: WhyMarriageMatters.org. Delaware's Civil Union and Equality Act of 2011 legalized same-gender civil unions: see the Action Alert! page for further info. However, Delaware continues to have an anti-gay-marriage law that mandates a fine or imprisonment as the penalty for same-gender couples presenting themselves as married—even if they were legally married in another state that permits it. What you might now do Be civil-unionized. *See Instructions for obtaining your civil union in Delaware* on the Action Alert! page. Ask Delaware clergy members you know to sign the Revised Spiritual Leaders' Statement supporting civil marriage: see the Of The Spirit page. Click for Delaware Right to Marry, a registered PAC in the State of Delaware committed to achieving state-recognized marriage, rather than civil unions.**
What the Bible really says about marriage 1. Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women (Gen. 29: 17-28; II Sam. 3: 2-5). 2. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives (II Sam. 5: 13; I Kings 11: 3; II Chron. 11: 21). 3. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed (Deut. 22: 13-21). 4. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden (Gen. 24: 3; Num. 25: 1-9; Ezra 9: 12; Neh. 10: 30). 5. Since marriage is for life, divorce shall not be permitted (Deut 22: 19; Mark 10: 9). 6. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law (Gen. 38: 6-10; Deut. 25: 5-10). This should clear up all the confusion around what the Bible teaches about marriage. Adapted; compiler unknown.
The Loving Decision On January 6, 1959, Mildred and Richard Loving, a black woman and a white man who had been married in Washington, D.C., and then returned to Virginia, were sentenced to one year in jail with a 25-year suspended sentence. They challenged the law prohibiting interracial marriage. The case went to the Supreme Court, which, in 1967 overturned the Virginia law and determined that the right to marry is a civil right guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution. In 2007, the 40th anniversary of the decision, Mildred Loving came out in unqualified support of same-gender marriage. Read the details of their experience and her support. Keep the faith! Keep up the fight! Adapted contribution from Ms. Sharon Messina.
Destroying marriage? Ronald Reagan divorced the mother of two of his children to marry Nancy, who bore him a daughter only seven months after the wedding. Bob Dole divorced his child's mother, who had nursed him through the long recovery from his war wounds. Newt Gingrich divorced his second wife while she was in the hospital battling cancer, and admitted to cheating on her for six years. He has had a total of three wives so far. When asked how he could be unfaithful and give a speech on family values, he said, "It doesn't matter what I do. People need to hear what I have to say. There's no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn't matter what I live." (Source: John H. Richardson, Esquire.com, 8/10/2010.) Dick Armey, former House Majority Leader: divorced. Phil Gramm of Texas: divorced. John Engler of Michigan: divorced. Pete Wilson, former governor of California: divorced. George Will: divorced. Lauch Faircloth, former senator: divorced. Rush Limbaugh: Limbaugh and his current wife Marta have six marriages and four divorces between them. Bob Barr of Georgia: Barr had been married three times before he had the audacity as representative to author and push the "Defense of Marriage Act." The joke making the rounds on Capitol Hill was, "Bob, which marriage are you defending?" Alfonse D'Amato, former senator of New York: divorced. Rudy Giuliani has been married three times. Sen. John Warner of Virginia: once married to Liz Taylor, divorced. George Allen, former governor of Virginia: divorced. Henry Kissinger: divorced. Rep. Helen Chenoweth of Idaho: divorced. She also attacked Bill Clinton's morals in an ad but later confessed to a longtime affair with a married man. Sen. John McCain of Arizona: divorced. John Kasich of Ohio: divorced. Susan Molinari of New York, Republican National Convention Keynote Speaker: divorced. Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina called his time with his Argentine mistress "hiking the Appalachian trail." George Rekers, paid for his anti-gay "expert testimony," vacationed in Europe with a young man from a gay escort Web site. Rep. Mark Souder of Indiana admitted to cheating on his wife with staffer Tracy Jackson, with whom he had filmed an abstinence message. Space fails to discuss Sen. Larry Craig, Rep. Mark Foley, Sen. John Ensign, Rep. Steve LaTourette and many other family-values Republicans. In fact, of the 73 Republican House members who took office in the 1994 Republican landslide, 15—more than 20%—have had messy divorces, and in one case, an allegedly suspicious car accident. Gay people would destroy the institution of marriage? The "righteous right" is doing a fine job without anyone's help... Adapted.
Hyphenation made easy! Even though same-gender couples cannot yet legally marry in Delaware, more and more of us are opting to demonstrate the seriousness of our relationships by legally combining our surnames. The process is extremely easy, the cost is minimal, and the satisfaction is great! No attorney is required: the process is designed for a couple to represent themselves. Step 1. Download and print the information/application packet for your county of residence at http://courts.delaware.gov/forms/list.aspx?sec=Forms&ag=All Courts&sub=Change Your Name. Both persons may change their names on the same application: there is no need to waste an extra filing fee for filling out two applications. Step 2. The couple must announce their intentions to change their names in one of the approved newspapers listed in the packet on three consecutive weeks. That is, whether a daily or a weekly newspaper, only three legal announcements are required. (Hint: Compare prices among the newspapers.) Step 3. After receiving certification from the newspaper that the announcement ran on three consecutive weeks, one person must take the application, the newspaper certification and a method of payment to the Court of Common Pleas office in your county of residence. This will get the process started and set the date and time for your court appearance. (Hint: Security in the courthouses may forbid you to carry a cell phone, PDA, etc. Leave anything like that at home or in the car.) Step 4. On the day of the hearing, the couple should consider taking off at least a half day: the hearing itself typically takes less than ten minutes, but there is some waiting both before and after. Step 5. Make a number of copies of the court order for giving to various entities (see Step 6 below), but safeguard the original signed and notarized document just as you would a will or property title. Step 6. Take the court order changing your names to your Social Security office. (Hint: Locate your nearest Social Security office at http://www.ssa.gov/locator.) Social Security will send your new Social Security cards within a week. DMV, most employers, credit card companies, etc., will not update your records with your new names until you have your new Social Security card in your possession. Update the U.S. Postal Service, magazine subscriptions, utility companies, family members, friends, etc. (Hint: In some cases this will present opportunities to discuss your relationship, same-gender marriage or other issues with interested persons.) Notes: Hyphenation of surnames to reflect a same-gender relationship has had a legal Delaware precedent since 1995 (see Timeline page). With that legal precedent and an increasing number of subsequent hyphenating same-gender Delaware couples, a judge's homophobia would not be reason enough to disallow a request. The above guidelines are informational in nature and are not presented nor should be construed as offering legal advice or replacing legal counsel. Messrs. Charles & Stephen Campbell-King contributed extensively to this section. Return to top of page.
© 2004 through 2012 Mr. Douglas Marshall-Steele

Attaining Marriage Equality

What you should know

Click for the Human Rights Campaign's Answers to Questions About Marriage Equality.
Click for the National Center for Lesbian Rights' Overview of Relationship Recognition.
Click for the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation's Talking About Marriage and Relationship Recognition.
Click for the National Center for Lesbian Rights' Documents to Protect You and Your Family.
Click for a Web site designed to educate and spur conversations about marriage equality: WhyMarriageMatters.org.
Delaware's Civil Union and Equality Act of 2011 legalized same-gender civil unions: see the Action Alert! page for further info. However, Delaware continues to have an anti-gay-marriage law that mandates a fine or imprisonment as the penalty for same-gender couples presenting themselves as married—even if they were legally married in another state that permits it.

What you might now do

Be civil-unionized. See Instructions for obtaining your civil union in Delaware on the Action Alert! page.
Ask Delaware clergy members you know to sign the Revised Spiritual Leaders' Statement supporting civil marriage: see the Of The Spirit page.
Click for Delaware Right to Marry, a registered PAC in the State of Delaware committed to achieving state-recognized marriage, rather than civil unions.

What the Bible really says about marriage

1. Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women (Gen. 29: 17-28; II Sam. 3: 2-5).

2. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives (II Sam. 5: 13; I Kings 11: 3; II Chron. 11: 21).

3. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed (Deut. 22: 13-21).

4. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden (Gen. 24: 3; Num. 25: 1-9; Ezra 9: 12; Neh. 10: 30).

5. Since marriage is for life, divorce shall not be permitted (Deut 22: 19; Mark 10: 9).

6. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law (Gen. 38: 6-10; Deut. 25: 5-10).

This should clear up all the confusion around what the Bible teaches about marriage.

Adapted; compiler unknown.

The Loving Decision

On January 6, 1959, Mildred and Richard Loving, a black woman and a white man who had been married in Washington, D.C., and then returned to Virginia, were sentenced to one year in jail with a 25-year suspended sentence.

They challenged the law prohibiting interracial marriage. The case went to the Supreme Court, which, in 1967 overturned the Virginia law and determined that the right to marry is a civil right guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution.

In 2007, the 40th anniversary of the decision, Mildred Loving came out in unqualified support of same-gender marriage. Read the details of their experience and her support.

Keep the faith! Keep up the fight!

Adapted contribution from Ms. Sharon Messina.

Destroying marriage?

Ronald Reagan divorced the mother of two of his children to marry Nancy, who bore him a daughter only seven months after the wedding.

Bob Dole divorced his child's mother, who had nursed him through the long recovery from his war wounds.

Newt Gingrich divorced his second wife while she was in the hospital battling cancer, and admitted to cheating on her for six years. He has had a total of three wives so far. When asked how he could be unfaithful and give a speech on family values, he said, "It doesn't matter what I do. People need to hear what I have to say. There's no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn't matter what I live." (Source: John H. Richardson, Esquire.com, 8/10/2010.)

Dick Armey, former House Majority Leader: divorced.

Phil Gramm of Texas: divorced.

John Engler of Michigan: divorced.

Pete Wilson, former governor of California: divorced.

George Will: divorced.

Lauch Faircloth, former senator: divorced.

Rush Limbaugh: Limbaugh and his current wife Marta have six marriages and four divorces between them.

Bob Barr of Georgia: Barr had been married three times before he had the audacity as representative to author and push the "Defense of Marriage Act." The joke making the rounds on Capitol Hill was, "Bob, which marriage are you defending?"

Alfonse D'Amato, former senator of New York: divorced.

Rudy Giuliani has been married three times.

Sen. John Warner of Virginia: once married to Liz Taylor, divorced.

George Allen, former governor of Virginia: divorced.

Henry Kissinger: divorced.

Rep. Helen Chenoweth of Idaho: divorced. She also attacked Bill Clinton's morals in an ad but later confessed to a longtime affair with a married man.

Sen. John McCain of Arizona: divorced.

John Kasich of Ohio: divorced.

Susan Molinari of New York, Republican National Convention Keynote Speaker: divorced.

Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina called his time with his Argentine mistress "hiking the Appalachian trail."

George Rekers, paid for his anti-gay "expert testimony," vacationed in Europe with a young man from a gay escort Web site.

Rep. Mark Souder of Indiana admitted to cheating on his wife with staffer Tracy Jackson, with whom he had filmed an abstinence message.

Space fails to discuss Sen. Larry Craig, Rep. Mark Foley, Sen. John Ensign, Rep. Steve LaTourette and many other family-values Republicans. In fact, of the 73 Republican House members who took office in the 1994 Republican landslide, 15—more than 20%—have had messy divorces, and in one case, an allegedly suspicious car accident.

Gay people would destroy the institution of marriage? The "righteous right" is doing a fine job without anyone's help...

Adapted.

Hyphenation made easy!

Even though same-gender couples cannot yet legally marry in Delaware, more and more of us are opting to demonstrate the seriousness of our relationships by legally combining our surnames. The process is extremely easy, the cost is minimal, and the satisfaction is great! No attorney is required: the process is designed for a couple to represent themselves.

Step 1. Download and print the information/application packet for your county of residence at http://courts.delaware.gov/forms/list.aspx?sec=Forms&ag=All Courts&sub=Change Your Name. Both persons may change their names on the same application: there is no need to waste an extra filing fee for filling out two applications.

Step 2. The couple must announce their intentions to change their names in one of the approved newspapers listed in the packet on three consecutive weeks. That is, whether a daily or a weekly newspaper, only three legal announcements are required. (Hint: Compare prices among the newspapers.)

Step 3. After receiving certification from the newspaper that the announcement ran on three consecutive weeks, one person must take the application, the newspaper certification and a method of payment to the Court of Common Pleas office in your county of residence. This will get the process started and set the date and time for your court appearance. (Hint: Security in the courthouses may forbid you to carry a cell phone, PDA, etc. Leave anything like that at home or in the car.)

Step 4. On the day of the hearing, the couple should consider taking off at least a half day: the hearing itself typically takes less than ten minutes, but there is some waiting both before and after.

Step 5. Make a number of copies of the court order for giving to various entities (see Step 6 below), but safeguard the original signed and notarized document just as you would a will or property title.

Step 6. Take the court order changing your names to your Social Security office. (Hint: Locate your nearest Social Security office at http://www.ssa.gov/locator.) Social Security will send your new Social Security cards within a week. DMV, most employers, credit card companies, etc., will not update your records with your new names until you have your new Social Security card in your possession. Update the U.S. Postal Service, magazine subscriptions, utility companies, family members, friends, etc. (Hint: In some cases this will present opportunities to discuss your relationship, same-gender marriage or other issues with interested persons.)

Notes: Hyphenation of surnames to reflect a same-gender relationship has had a legal Delaware precedent since 1995 (see Timeline page). With that legal precedent and an increasing number of subsequent hyphenating same-gender Delaware couples, a judge's homophobia would not be reason enough to disallow a request.

The above guidelines are informational in nature and are not presented nor should be construed as offering legal advice or replacing legal counsel.

Messrs. Charles & Stephen Campbell-King contributed extensively to this section.

Return to top of page.